Libby Moore
For eleven years, Libby Moore served as chief of staff to Oprah Winfrey and worked as a consulting producer on the launch of the Emmy award-winning show Super Soul Sunday on OWN, The Oprah Winfrey Network. Earlier in her career, she worked as Executive Assistant to Jann Wenner (Wenner Media), publisher of Rolling Stone, US Weekly and Men’s Journal. She dabbled in improv comedy, was a personal assistant to Maury Povich and worked for radio stations and newspapers on Boston’s North Shore. Libby is a speaker/story teller, adventurer, certified life coach and creative connector. She is a member of the Board of Trustees at Endicott College, an advisor to Girlmentum Media, and a mentor to numerous young adults.
Q. Why do you think it's important for young people to speak out about LGBTQI issues?
For one, it's healthier to live an open and honest life. To be in hiding about who you truly are can be unhealthy, both mentally and physically. Many "closeted " people have suffered from depression, addiction, low self esteem, weight issues; the list goes on & on. Many times these issues arise because people are hiding a deep secret about who they were born to be. The issues build a wall between who they are naturally, and who society wants and expects them to be. Secondly, it's important for young people to speak out about these issues to move human understanding forward. That would include everything from progressing legislation to educating our friends, family, and community about our life. Until every LGBTQI person can live their life openly, around the world, without fear of persecution, violence, threats, hate crimes... there is work to be done. When young people speak up, it has a massive impact around the world- more voices will have a bigger impact. I especially love all of the straight young people who are standing with their global brothers and sisters in this effort! This alliance has the power to change the world for the better, and at a much faster pace. Look at what just happened in the United States... our Federal Courts legalizing gay marriage in all 50 States. Thank you, Thank you, you courageous people! That is the power that each voice has, and collectively, it is life changing!
Q. At what point in your life did you begin to talk openly about sexuality and gender identity? What gave you the courage and motivation to do so?
I came out to my family and friends at 27 years old, but I knew I was gay since I was at least 8 years old, probably earlier. When I was a kid, I always had crushes on girls. In middle school I began to understand that what I felt naturally was different than what society wanted me to be, so I started hiding my truth about who I was by the time I was 10 or 11 years old. In college, at about 18 or 19, I knew I was gay, and thought, "I will go to my grave with this secret. " The more I suppressed my feelings, the more I ate and drank, gaining so much weight in two years that I topped out at about 205 lbs, a size 18/20. I was drinking a lot of alcohol, to numb myself to any real feelings. I had tons of friends, and was always the life of the party, but deep down I was so sad and lonely. At 21, I tried what I call a 'subconscious suicide attempt.' I didn't go out that night thinking, “I'm going to end my life,” but as the night unfolded, and I continued drinking, that is where I ended up. My friends begged me to let them take me home, but I insisted on driving to a bar in the next town over. At some point during that drive I started crying, overwhelmed with true feelings that I had been suppressing for about 10 years of my life- my truth, my core self. I had the thought, "how will I ever be able to live my life truthfully, openly, and honestly with someone that I truly love? " I just did not believe that my friends and family would be okay with me being gay. In hindsight, my thinking was wrong, but in that micro moment of darkness, I felt completely hopeless. I couldn't stop crying, and just saw no future for myself, so when I got to a short straight-away stretch in this winding road, I impulsively pushed the gas pedal all the way down to the floor, and my car just shot forward like a rocket ship. As soon as I approached the sharp turn ahead, I snapped out of it, slammed on the brakes, and turned the wheel in an attempt to make the curve. The car skidded, went directly over the curb, and smashed into a tree. My car was totaled, and I miraculously walked away. I survived, only because 20 minutes earlier, when I had pulled away from my friends, the DJ on the radio had said, "buckle up out there, it 's raining cats and dogs, and it's not letting up any time soon. " When I heard that, I put my seatbelt on. It saved my life. That is a very, very personal story to share, and I share it because I believe it will help others in a similar position to understand that there is a whole big lovely life waiting for you, beyond that micro moment of darkness. I am sharing to help educate others to understand; how deeply destructive it can be to hide who you naturally are, and to use my own life story to help inspire hope in others, who cannot see it for themselves in a "moment of darkness ". I have had a fantastic life, since that night, so many years ago, whcih includes coming out to my family and friends, who were extraordinarily accepting, supportive, and loving! I've been fortunate to have relationships with incredible women who have enriched my life immeasurably, and helped me to grow into the person I am today. Also, my career has been an exciting, eclectic adventure of experiences in everything from radio to television, and Rolling Stone to Oprah. I've been extremely fortunate, and I feel like my life is just getting started! My point being, in the darkness of that "micro moment " so many years ago, I had NO idea about the amazing life that was just ahead, waiting for me. I am so grateful, to be here to share that story. So anyone reading this that has had, or will have, any feelings of hopelessness, just know that you are not alone, and it is a passing state. There is a whole big, full life waiting for your arrival, in all of your beautiful uniqueness. I always say, if God or someone came to me in my sleep and said, "I 'll wave my magic wand, and you'll wake up straight, and no one will ever know you were gay.., " I would say no thank you! I love who I am, I love being gay, and I love who I have become. I truly feel blessed to be gay.
Q. How have your professional trajectory and personal journey intersected (if at all)?
Once I came out at 27, everything started to fall into place for me professionally. I was more comfortable in my skin, so therefore, I was a more confident person, and people can feel that energy, and are drawn to that energy. I remember when I was about to interview with Oprah for the position of chief of staff, someone said, "You probably shouldn 't tell her that you are gay." I had been out for about 7 years at that point. I said, "Look, I love Oprah, I would love to work with Oprah, but if she isn't comfortable working with gay people, then I 'm not the one for the job." And of course when I did tell Oprah that I was gay, it was a non-issue. She is accepting of everybody.
Q. What's the biggest piece of advice you can give teens who want to pursue their dreams and be true to who they are?
Be yourself, with all people, in all situations, at all times. It helps keep you on the most authentic life path specifically designed for you. I realize this is not an easy thing to do all of the time. I still work on it everyday. And what I have found is that the more I am truly myself, the happier I am, which inspires happiness in others, which makes the world a better place.
Q. Why do you think it's important for young people to speak out about LGBTQI issues?
For one, it's healthier to live an open and honest life. To be in hiding about who you truly are can be unhealthy, both mentally and physically. Many "closeted " people have suffered from depression, addiction, low self esteem, weight issues; the list goes on & on. Many times these issues arise because people are hiding a deep secret about who they were born to be. The issues build a wall between who they are naturally, and who society wants and expects them to be. Secondly, it's important for young people to speak out about these issues to move human understanding forward. That would include everything from progressing legislation to educating our friends, family, and community about our life. Until every LGBTQI person can live their life openly, around the world, without fear of persecution, violence, threats, hate crimes... there is work to be done. When young people speak up, it has a massive impact around the world- more voices will have a bigger impact. I especially love all of the straight young people who are standing with their global brothers and sisters in this effort! This alliance has the power to change the world for the better, and at a much faster pace. Look at what just happened in the United States... our Federal Courts legalizing gay marriage in all 50 States. Thank you, Thank you, you courageous people! That is the power that each voice has, and collectively, it is life changing!
Q. At what point in your life did you begin to talk openly about sexuality and gender identity? What gave you the courage and motivation to do so?
I came out to my family and friends at 27 years old, but I knew I was gay since I was at least 8 years old, probably earlier. When I was a kid, I always had crushes on girls. In middle school I began to understand that what I felt naturally was different than what society wanted me to be, so I started hiding my truth about who I was by the time I was 10 or 11 years old. In college, at about 18 or 19, I knew I was gay, and thought, "I will go to my grave with this secret. " The more I suppressed my feelings, the more I ate and drank, gaining so much weight in two years that I topped out at about 205 lbs, a size 18/20. I was drinking a lot of alcohol, to numb myself to any real feelings. I had tons of friends, and was always the life of the party, but deep down I was so sad and lonely. At 21, I tried what I call a 'subconscious suicide attempt.' I didn't go out that night thinking, “I'm going to end my life,” but as the night unfolded, and I continued drinking, that is where I ended up. My friends begged me to let them take me home, but I insisted on driving to a bar in the next town over. At some point during that drive I started crying, overwhelmed with true feelings that I had been suppressing for about 10 years of my life- my truth, my core self. I had the thought, "how will I ever be able to live my life truthfully, openly, and honestly with someone that I truly love? " I just did not believe that my friends and family would be okay with me being gay. In hindsight, my thinking was wrong, but in that micro moment of darkness, I felt completely hopeless. I couldn't stop crying, and just saw no future for myself, so when I got to a short straight-away stretch in this winding road, I impulsively pushed the gas pedal all the way down to the floor, and my car just shot forward like a rocket ship. As soon as I approached the sharp turn ahead, I snapped out of it, slammed on the brakes, and turned the wheel in an attempt to make the curve. The car skidded, went directly over the curb, and smashed into a tree. My car was totaled, and I miraculously walked away. I survived, only because 20 minutes earlier, when I had pulled away from my friends, the DJ on the radio had said, "buckle up out there, it 's raining cats and dogs, and it's not letting up any time soon. " When I heard that, I put my seatbelt on. It saved my life. That is a very, very personal story to share, and I share it because I believe it will help others in a similar position to understand that there is a whole big lovely life waiting for you, beyond that micro moment of darkness. I am sharing to help educate others to understand; how deeply destructive it can be to hide who you naturally are, and to use my own life story to help inspire hope in others, who cannot see it for themselves in a "moment of darkness ". I have had a fantastic life, since that night, so many years ago, whcih includes coming out to my family and friends, who were extraordinarily accepting, supportive, and loving! I've been fortunate to have relationships with incredible women who have enriched my life immeasurably, and helped me to grow into the person I am today. Also, my career has been an exciting, eclectic adventure of experiences in everything from radio to television, and Rolling Stone to Oprah. I've been extremely fortunate, and I feel like my life is just getting started! My point being, in the darkness of that "micro moment " so many years ago, I had NO idea about the amazing life that was just ahead, waiting for me. I am so grateful, to be here to share that story. So anyone reading this that has had, or will have, any feelings of hopelessness, just know that you are not alone, and it is a passing state. There is a whole big, full life waiting for your arrival, in all of your beautiful uniqueness. I always say, if God or someone came to me in my sleep and said, "I 'll wave my magic wand, and you'll wake up straight, and no one will ever know you were gay.., " I would say no thank you! I love who I am, I love being gay, and I love who I have become. I truly feel blessed to be gay.
Q. How have your professional trajectory and personal journey intersected (if at all)?
Once I came out at 27, everything started to fall into place for me professionally. I was more comfortable in my skin, so therefore, I was a more confident person, and people can feel that energy, and are drawn to that energy. I remember when I was about to interview with Oprah for the position of chief of staff, someone said, "You probably shouldn 't tell her that you are gay." I had been out for about 7 years at that point. I said, "Look, I love Oprah, I would love to work with Oprah, but if she isn't comfortable working with gay people, then I 'm not the one for the job." And of course when I did tell Oprah that I was gay, it was a non-issue. She is accepting of everybody.
Q. What's the biggest piece of advice you can give teens who want to pursue their dreams and be true to who they are?
Be yourself, with all people, in all situations, at all times. It helps keep you on the most authentic life path specifically designed for you. I realize this is not an easy thing to do all of the time. I still work on it everyday. And what I have found is that the more I am truly myself, the happier I am, which inspires happiness in others, which makes the world a better place.